Sorry my love. I've been away for a long while. It's been a really interesting time in my life. Truly. In many ways the inhale is so much more interesting then the exhale, this is definitly the input before my output and I can't even remember the last time I've had times like this. Normal, grocery shopping, ugly, carcrashes, mistakes, akwardness............
Its been so important for me to find a sense of value in this life outside of music. For many of us, there is no value outside the stage or say the "rush", and like every other addict we chase it and like every other addict we burn, fast and hard and it just doesnt work out very well..... Why does it all have to be so fast and so EMPTY?
--- So instead I've been spending my time in line at the Californian DMV offices. Man, it is complicated and hard but shame on the man who gives up... Also, I've been really successfull lately at sucking = meaning beeing a total mess and disaster. Note, DMV (!!!) but also I took a dance class today for the first time in YEARS. And it was weeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiird, so sentimental. I spent a lot of my earlier years in the dance studio and I havent been back since I was about 16 years old. And it gave me shivers, good and bad. I am totally unfit and behind schedule but something in my heart awakened, something that has been dead for a long while, I remembered how much dancing once meant to me and it had nothing to do with anything but pure love and passion for it. And sometimes you lose that when things get too insane or busy or when there is too much pressure. And you know nothing flows with pressure...
That's why I wanted to write to you cause I almost feel a bit "new age". I feel it's important to follow our bliss and creativity cause we all have it in us although this life today can blind it but wake up people, go follow that dream, dare to be bad but also dare to get high! And you'll never know if you don't try it. I feel it is our responsibility in the Western world to really take all the wonderful opportunities there is to learn and express ourselves. Can you imagine how many people struggle to even get to go to school? So please turn off your tellies and don't buy into all the crap thats out there, especially for us young women. We have to break the cycle. Its time for a new ideal, a new truth.
Seek it.
I realized I really am a person on a quest/journey and lately I've opened myself even more to what I have within and it makes me so happy that I have so much to learn and live for, and that it has nothing to do with what other people think of me.
I've been taking all my dreams seriously, even the silly egocentric ones.
Seriously, you have the power..................God, I really sound "new age", but you've catched me on a good day, and believe me most of them are the total opposite and I can't even find a reason to get out of bed but I realized lately that nothing is written in stone and that change is always ahead, you can always pick another trail in life. Don't do the expected, do what you dream. Be who you are, when no one else is watching.
With that said I've also realized I'm a rather weird person, shy and a total loner. But that's cool cause that is just for now. 6 months from now something else will have changed too. And not only the weather.
This is the inhale before the exhale.
I'm leaving for Jamaica on Wednesday and then I go back to Stockholm to start the recording of my second album. No expectations but it will be sick! I cannot wait for you to hear it, but even more, I cant wait for me to hear it.
Love always.
Yours truly.
LL
